Spiritual Healing

John Wesley’s life, was considered by many to be the busiest and, in some respects, the most important life in that century. He was a principal founder and the first conspicuous exemplar of a theology of experience. His was a revolution in the whole approach to the interpretation of the gospel. For 25 years (1714 - 1738) Wesley would pursue the kind of assurance that would deliver him from his fear of death and dying. He writes, “The voice of God told me I was not fit to die, since I was afraid, rather than desirous of it. Oh, when shall I wish to be dissolved and to be with Christ? I was so possessed with thoughts of death that I actually wrote my will. So during the summer I turned once again to the mystics.” “My chief motive (in going to Georgia) is the hope of saving my own soul.” “I hope to learn the true sense of the gospel of Christ by preaching to the heathen.”

On board the boat during a storm Wesley was shocked to discover himself afraid to die. “Stormy still and afraid (note in his diary).” The United Brethren (Moravians) serene and unselfish turned the other cheek when not invited to communion and sang hymns of great beauty. They were not impressed by Wesley’s “good works.” The English screamed when a wave hit the ship, Moravians without intermission calmly sang on. When they asked Wesley, “Do you know yourself ? Have you the witness in yourself ? Does the Spirit of God bear witness with your spirit that you are a child of God ? Do you know Jesus Christ ? But do you know He has saved you ? All Wesley could say was, “I hope he has died to save me.” He needed to learn what the first Step was .

Up to this time Wesley argued “that forgiveness and peace must be earned by unceasing effort. For example he made a resolution never to laugh again unless he must, early rising, endless resolutions and rules of behaviour, self-examination, fasting, prayers and many other means of purging the soul became common practice. “I was still convinced I was not yet a son of God. Even thunder and lightning frightened me.” He needed to take the First Step.

On Wednesday May 24th 1738 John took the First Step. The preacher was reading from Luther’s preface to Romans. “Faith is a divine work in us …” The penny dropped. As the words sank in Wesley underwent a change. In his journal he wrote, “I felt my heart strangely warmed. I felt I did trust in Christ, Christ alone for salvation, and an assurance was given me that He had taken away my sins, even mine and saved me from the law of sin and death.” His relationship with God had begun. Wesley had become a Son so his fear of death had gone. He was in the divine family now. There was no need to fear anything..

The precise passage from Luther’s preface to Romans used by the preacher, “Wherefore let us conclude that faith alone justifies, and that faith alone fulfils the law, for faith through the merit of Christ obtains the Holy Spirit, which Spirit makes us new hearts, exhilaration, excites and influences our hearts, so that we may do those things willingly of love, which the law commands; and so, at last, good works indeed proceed from the faith which works mightily, and which is so lively in our hearts.”

Did Wesley take the First Step because of his fear of death?

John Wesley had an interest in the Moravian settlers in Georgia. His brother Charles had conversations with the Moravian leader (a German Count). Charles likened one of the Moravian services to being ‘a choir of angels.’ John indicated that he had it in mind to join the Moravians in Georgia at some stage.

Charles was helped by the German Moravian Peter Boehler through a critical phase in his sickness. His contributions both to John and to Charles was crucial. First he extracted from Charles the admission that he trusted in works for his salvation and indicated to him that this was not enough. In conversation with John he went a stage further and convinced him of the need for saving faith. In that case, John asked him, should he stop preaching, since he could hardly preach to others if he lacked faith himself. Boehler’s answer was memorable: “By no means neglect the talent which God has given to you. Preach faith till you have it: and then, because you have it, you will preach faith. For the first time he “offered salvation by faith alone.” The man declared, “I am now ready to die. I know Christ has taken away my sins; and there is no more condemnation for me.’ The man faced death with an equanimity and assurance John himself did not yet possess.

For 25 years (1714 - 1738) Wesley would pursue the kind of assurance that would deliver him from his fear of death and dying.

Wesley in 1725 made religion the business of his life. He wanted to clean himself up that God might love him. But those who wait until they have “cleaned” themselves before they let God love them, wait a long time. Wesley waited 13 years and the laid aside all pretense of self-righteousness in order “to follow naked, the naked Jesus.” God the breathed into John Wesley the spirit of life and the Revival was on.

One aspect of my personality has to do with my inordinate fear of dying and the other is my interest in apparitions. My school was an infirmary for old men. I became accustomed to seeing death. As the old men were carried out, I found myself plagued by haunting doubts. I would become depressed. The question, “What if I should die ?” Death became the enemy. I became a man obsessed.

While still at Oxford I was still haunted by my thoughts of death and I continued my interest in the supernatural.

I especially liked his attitude towards death. I remember his comment regarding the death of his beloved wife: "Were it not for common decency, I could have danced at her funeral.” Still plagued by fear and doubt, de Renty’s “experimental verity” (an assurance of God’s presence) and his imperviousness to death, kept (at least for a while) the enemy on a leash.

Four testimonies by Moravians convinced John that saving faith could produce instantaneous conversion, a concept which had been previously alien to him. On Sunday April 23rd he entered in his journal: “Here ended my disputing. I could only cry out, “Lord, help Thou my unbelief.”

Sharing this new-found conviction about sudden conversion with his brother, he reduced Charles to a state of shock.

On the eve of Boehler’s departure for America, he and Charles had a lengthy conversation at the end of which Charles was brought to the point where he accepted the nature of that one true living faith, whereby alone, “through grace, we are saved.”

Wesley’s exhortations were in his mouth but not in his heart. But he found that almost all conversions in the Acts were instantaneous. We fell into dispute whether conversion was gradual or instantaneous. I (Charles) insisted a man need not know when first he had faith.

He learned that faith does not depend on feeling: joy might be given or withheld. Charles overflowed with joy. John had no such feelings.

By a Christian I mean one who so believes in Christ as that sin hath no more dominion over him. And in that sense of the word I was not a Christian till May 24 last past. For till then sin had dominion over me, although I fought it continually but since then, from that time to this it hath not such. He stressed the witness of the Spirit in his heart although he still waited patiently for joy. He did not doubt that on May 24 he had found the truth.

Suddenly all the uncertainty and confusion of the previous weeks were swept away as he (Charles) grasped hold of that assurance of faith which he had sought for so long. “I now found myself at peace with God … I saw that by faith I stood.”